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Benny
Benny Lancaster is a senior resident of Shady Pines. They were born as Ben Dover, but their name was later changed unbeknownst to them. They are the supreme leader of Crack Village, senior president of Shady Abyss, and CEO of Green Japan. History Benny's true parenthood is unknown. It is speculated to be Edith, but Benny much prefers to think Flora as the true mother. Benny was raised on music, making them a masterclass Clarinet player. Their first job was at 28, working at a Hot-Topic. Benny then ventured into the soda industry, slowly working her way up the Pepsi chain, until reaching the status of CEO. Life was all needles and haystacks until EDITH got her fired. She then went to RC-Cola, but shortly retired as she could not muster the energy to work anymore. Benny was once a hard working gal. Once. Benny is now a lazy good for nothing old coot who sips on margaritas and is addicted to Quaaludes. They found themself at Shady Pines in 2001, and has since stayed. The residents often lose track of Benny, just to find Benny was stuck in a ventilation shaft for months at a time.. As of August 19th, 2019, Benny joined the dark side, led by Ralph Kingston. Edith at one point, tricked Benny into becoming an orphan, in an attempt to adopt them again. Benny accidentally got adopted by Frankie Giritude instead. After all these adoptionary hi-jinks, Benny lives as Edith's child. Benny today leads Crack Village as an absolute monarch. With the riches gained from crime, She bought Green Japan, and even funded a underwater civilization, Shady Abyss. Despite all of these riches, Benny is still a frequent thief. Political Stance in Shady Pines Benny's political stance has usually been in opposition to Edith. Multiple times has Benny formed a political party to spite Edith (such as the Overthrow Edith Party, to name one of many). Benny has also ran as Edith's Vice President in Shady Pines 2020 Presidential Election. Benny stands for 3 things: Gay Rats, Corn, And Chunky Piss. Quotes "IF WE CAME FROM OUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS WHY DO THEY STILL EXIST" "I HAVE, THE DOCTOR, STICK HIS LONG FINGER up MY POOP HOLE JUST TO BE SAFE EVERY MONTH" "Ive got 99 problems but im going to drink ketamine and die a painful death" "I was once told that “poopoo peepee” was the highest term of endearment in america" " I WANT TO FEEL A TINKLE. I LOST ALL NERVE FEELING AFTER AGENT ORANGE" "I love this fox if anything happens to it im blowing up big ben" "time flies when you have syphilis" "Something in my bussy is burning :cutie:" "Bee hatch aaaa Beeeeeee" "VERNON WHY DO YOU HAVE BEE" "I appreciate this L amp " "Wow, cracker barrel, you won't produce a fake birth certificate for me?? Well guess who just lost out on a loyal customer for life.... look at all of these $20 bills. They could've been yours, each and every one of them, but you let your hubris get in the way. You fucked yourself, cracker barrel. You messed up, and now it's time to live with the misery your decisions have brought." "Oh lord ive greased my last wiener !" "You hag. You absolute hussy. You think you can challenge me in my own retirement center? You think you can rebel against my authority? You dare come into my shady pines and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? You thought you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that phone of yours. I will take these rusty floor boards and destroy you. I didnt want war, but I didnt start it." " LESBIAN GAY BISEXUAL TRANS ALBANIAN?" "All boomers knew how to do was book, work factory, get paid, destroy environment, and lie" Trivia * Was once child of Edith ** Now is the child of Flora * Once was the CEO of PEPSI, but was fired due to incompetence. * Major contributor to the OPF Wiki :) * Only supporter of the mythical Jesusbus * Started the STD known as Eye Herpes ** Also later contracted Piss Baby * Has Been Neutered Twice * Has been an ATTSAG twice * Graduate of Big Booty Bitches University * Avid Wiener Greaser * Benny has shot Edith at minimum 87 times. (and forever growing). ** Many are not recorded due to deleted pings, had not mentioned edith, or other server muck fuckery. ** Benny has also stabbed Edith a (recorded) 35 times. Category:Residents Category:Star Wars Episode 10: The Hag Strikes Back